November 22, 2023 | Leave a comment a month of mini surf trips and visitors and finally finding a therapist i actually like and discovering that starbucks vietnam does a psl and od-ing on a bunch because i haven’t had any in five years. i didn’t know that you could be the best of buds with someone for 3.5 years, not see them for 5.5 years, and then when you meet again, be able to feel and laugh and gossip and vent to each other as if you’d been together everyday during those missing 5.5 years. i wrote out a whole post but it was shit because mid-november vivian is an emotional mess. so instead here are one-liners from my october journal and cute pics to accompany. Monthly Mood: Moody you know, we were born knowing how to breath properly, but along the way, life came along, we forgot.—gerry lopez day 2064 2 october 2023 my trust for all surfers has been so marred. i have so much to be proud of. and so much to celebrate. day 2065 3 october 2023 i want to be healthy. if someone does something that feels bad, i will speak up no matter how culturally acceptable it is to treat women like shit. day 2066 4 october 2023 girls from hanoi are so beautiful. day 2067 05 october 2023 i love my friends and our endless eating, our late night burritos. day 2068 06 october 2023 surfing has been so important for my emotional health in a way that running or hiking never could be. day 206907 october 2023 i love people who love me and i love everyone even if they don’t know how to love. day 2073 11 october 2023 as i starfish hurthealing on my bed, i realize that i am again being so anxious about the future that i cannot live any of my life. that if i don’t have those things* it is because i don’t need them. that everything i need is already here with me now. which is my breath.and my sacred body. *my 48-lb suitcase of full of american supplements, moisturizers, bikinis, calvins, spf, hemp hearts, medjool dates, and a designer spring suit doesn’t make it to vietnam with my best friend when she lands. day 207715 october 2023 i still feel, but it’s like little schmoos. i still want you and everyone to see me doing well. day 208523 october 2023 yoga is always one of the the best parts of my daykimchi fried rice gets me out of bed day 208826 october 2023 i remember why i surf. not to be cute, not to post pictures. it single-handedly fixed my vaginal floraibsanxiety and dreadeating disorder. all of these things flare up when I’m away for too long. i cried so much into that beach break, even if no tears fell. hiking doesn’t cut it- i am far too in my mind. calculating the next snack. with surfing, i don’t even want to eat. i just want to be able to be out there again, whatever it takes. at the end of the day, i eat everything, and it feels so good. obsessions 9’ tri-fin longboard7’4” funboardsgin cocktailsđà lạt strawberry smoothieshappy hourssouthern dialect vietnamesejolyn moana rash guardjolyn eryn topjolyn hikari bottomsvietnamese boyscalvin klein cotton undieswatermelon margsvegan fish tacos @ nourishstormy waveskatiewine nightsbackpacking with my friendpsl Previous Monthly Mood: $pend Explore my full archive of Vietnam and Monthly Moods. Learn more about this round-the-world solo trip.