My mother invited me to join her in her four-star hotel on the iconic Ipanema Beach for the week. She had a conference to attend, so we flew into the airport at the same time. That night, my father and sister flew in from the Brazilian Amazon. It felt just like old times as we were half-bickering, half-sightseeing our way through Rio de Janeiro weeks before the 2016 Olympics.

 

 

Getting There

I caught my 4am flight from Salvador (SSA) to Rio (GIG), 2.5 hours, $48. Was positively a full-on zombie by the time Mom and I were hugging at international arrivals.

 

 

Accommodation

A taxi swept the two of us to Praia Ipanema Hotel, beachfront, incredible buffet breakfast. As always, costs were covered by Mom’s job otherwise I would have us in a hostel in a heartbeat. Check-in was later in the day. At last, I could be clean, jumping in bath robes and rolling around in the fresh underwear and five bars of Trader Joes dark chocolate she had brought me. From the balcony you could see both Christ the Redeemer and the ocean. Sauna and pool, which I never even used. Beach service.

 

 

See and Do

 

Pão do Açucar

A cable car ride up Sugarloaf Mountain: Type II fun with the ma.

Day 68

So much cut fruit, coconut water, yogurt, granola, waffle, tapioca, omelette, scrambled eggs, baked potatoes, roasted tomatoes, sent me deep into a food coma, the first of many yet to come.

Good weather meant it was a good day to visit Pão do Azuçar. Mom began complaining about being tired and I began losing my patience (she was talking to someone who hadn’t slept for two nights). We finished walking the Ipanema segment, turned onto Copacabana, and I asked her to join me for a photo. She was scared the waves would get her shoes wet. I was standing a safe distance away but when a stronger wave it, I could hear the water coming. So I started running, Mom didn’t have as fast reflexes in her feet or something, yet her hands quickly grabbed my backpack and I felt myself literally get yanked backwards into the water. So that she wouldn’t be the only one screwed in front of smirking sunbathers.

We had just purchased Havaianas, a third of the price here in the native country, so we threw those on. I was mad, she tried blaming me for not dragging her out in time, also mad. In the end I waved down a taxi.

Cable cars to ascend the Sugarloaf Mountain, reached at Praia Vermelha, are $20 for adults and $10 for students. Waits are long, tourists are abundant, welcome to Rio.

I went through all the viewpoints, sometimes alone as Mom had to rest her knees. Bring mosquito repellant.

We walked the entire Ipanema once again, stopping for a delectable coconut. Dinner was overpriced, mediocre sushi from Ten Kai. I was dozing (at last!) for two hours before Lillian and Dad barged in with a bunch of noise. Those following my snapchats told me it appeared I now had a clone in my twin bed.

 

Christ the Redeemer (the expensive way)

Adventuring up Corcovado ft. family bonding. See also Christ the Redeemer the cheap way.

Day 69 (am)

I had a small banana and saved the rest of my appetite for the rodizio in my near future.

We took the train to Corcovado, which I don’t recommend because it feels like a Disney ride, it’s really expensive, there’s a significant wait, and no views along the way. Mom wasn’t up for the hike, I certainly didn’t want to do it again, and a better alternative would’ve been taking the van service.

The main difference from visiting the first time was that I didn’t look like a hobo now.

 

Brazilian Steakhouse

Gorge. Type I Fun.

Day 69 (pm)

We collectively had no energy, just hunger. Insane hunger.

Marius, located in the Leme neighborhood, served unlimited grilled seafood and more.

Immediately shrimp and calamari were on the table. Going all in, we added white wine to the bill. The bathroom proved to be just as ornate as the dining area, with the floor covered in coffee beans. The buffet was overwhelming. The only strategy is to stick to tiny samples. I enjoyed lighter options, like the mint cantaloupe, asparagus, and caprese bites. Horrible sushi for a seafood restaurant.

They brought out jumbo shrimp, white fish filet, grilled lobster, calamari, shiitake, filet mignon. Ahh.

I got into the fried chips at the end and had platefuls. I felt good until I spotted the desert table. All sorts of mousse and tiramisu for grabbing was my downfall.

It helped to walk the entire way back, but I winced at my dad running around like crazy in his flip flops trying to take photos of us and strike up conversations with locals. Please don’t get mugged, thankssss.

 

 

Dois Irmãos

Rising above favelas to the summit of The Two Brothers.

Day 70

Traveling with Dad means waiting for him to figure out what to do when we knew it all along. Today, it took us two hours and a bus ride in the wrong direction to get to Favela Vidigal, a 25-minute straight shot from our hotel on foot.

The neighborhood has been “cleaned up” and is now the safest favela in Rio. Usually it’s a fun ride up on the back of a motorcycle taxi for just cents, but today they weren’t running and my Portuguese wasn’t good enough to understand why. We took a combi instead, $.85.

I’m not sure where we were dropped off, but we found the trail. The usual trailhead is by the school, just beyond the running track.

The hike had plenty of shade and good lookout points of Rocinha, the largest and not so safe favela.

At the peak you can easily see Corcovado and Açucar. The few tourists up here seemed to pick this as their preferred sunbathing spot in the city.

To my dismay surfboard rental at Ipanema from vendors on the beach was 50 reais per hour, equivalent to two full days in Itacaré. At a surf shop it was 100 ($31) for a day so we said fine.

After almost puncturing two small girls on the beach I called it quits. There was no space for beginners like me to be productive.

Amazonias Soul had American-priced acai bowls but the big portions make splitting a large worth it. The best add-in was the frozen strawberries.

 

 

Surf Ipanema Beach

Trying to hang onto dignity in public.

Day 71

I began my day of drowning nice and early. The board was lighter and the waves pulled me down. I made friends with the lifeguard at Post 10 in Ipanema, who wanted to help me but was on duty. I stood up when he gave me a push but that’s not surfing.

I napped, switched to a heavier board, and exhausted myself again.

Dad and Lillian saw the Sugarloaf, and the three of us got sushi when they returned.

 

Lapa

Take a walking tour and then regret it: type III fun with the ba.

Day 72

I really hate walking tours. I wanted to see the Lapa neighborhood during the daytime, but not for four hours. Not while getting slammed with mildly interesting details that would never make it into my memory.

Lapa was poor, dirty, historical, and a giant party every night. Most travelers preferred it after sundown, and were probably unfit to see it outside those hours due to the damage done from the previous night out.

The tour met at the Municipal Theater, 9:30am, and started at around 10. Meaning Dad rushed us over and we waited for an hour on a bench.

Three tries and we couldn’t get a photo without people in the back at the spelled out words of Escadaria Selaron. Mesmerized by the mosaic tiles, I found Florida, the Peeing Boy, Italy, Gaudi… bringing together worldwide landmarks made this staircase the beloved hangout spot it is today.

Dad insisted we take the trolley that takes tourists above the white arches for free between 11am and 4pm. The wait for what proved to be a very childish ride is about an hour and a half. But we had walked five hours, I was getting sick, and anxious to get back because I needed to prepare my next moves on my trip (you know, just trivial things like flying to Bolivia alone).

To get back without spending money, we had to walk the entire stretch of Ipanema. Mom was lovely enough to take Lillian and I to get pasta, cheering us up.