Welcome to my first of a series of food guides. Chiang Mai was so delicious it had me walking miles in the June heat searching for the perfect bowl of khao soi noodles. It had me slugging down one icy drink on high speed just so I would finish it before I got to the next sugary hydration station. It had me adding smoothie-blending women on Facebook. The dragonfruit had me peeing pink for days. I was getting good at using hand motions to convince vendors to give me half portions for half prices all in the name of food FOMO.

 

 

When I first realized I needed to get my ass to Southeast Asia, it was because of the food. Specifically, I was scrolling through Instagram in a hostel bed during the rainy hours of Panama. Sleeping was replaced with staring. No amount of sampling and draining my dollars in the West would satisfy my intense craving and curiosity for the real deal of Thai and Vietnamese cuisines.

 

Getting There & Away

My overnight bus from Khon Kaen was 12 hours and $18. From the bus station into town, take a shared red songteau into town for $1.

I booked an overnight bus to downtown Bangkok at my hostel which included transport to the bus station for $14.20, 14 hours.

 

 

Accommodation

Gate Capsule Hostel was smack on the walking street of the Saturday Night Market and close a market and nightly street stalls. I had AC, decent wifi, a shared bathroom with broken shower heads, and my own capsule for $4.50.

I was there to eat at my pace, a speed hard to keep up with. For a more social hostel, try Hug Hostel. Other friends have had success with Airbnb.

 

 

Eat

Last updated: August 2017

Khao Soi— spicy coconut curry sauce smothering a nest of egg noodles, topped with protein of choice and crispy fried noodle pieces, served with lime and pickled greens. I had the beef version at a recommended place a few steps to the right of Gate Capsule Hostel, but I preferred the balanced flavors and tender meat of the chicken khao soi at KhaoSoi MaeSai. Recommended by Jodi from Legal Nomads, the simple restaurant was full of locals despite being tucked away in an expat neighborhood. Bowls ran $1.14.

Fresh smoothies—another win from Jodi, Ms. Pa runs a mean smoothie cart across from the 7-11 at the Chiang Mai Gate Market. She sets up in the block of food stalls in the center of traffic, kind of like a not so round round-a-bout. Her smoothies are fresh, healthy, free of sugar, and she’ll give you any combo of fruits for a fixed price of 57¢. She’s definitely the best in Thailand. I visited her twice a day. Some great combos were dragonfruit coconut, watermelon lime, and pineapple passionfruit ginger with fresh squeezed orange and lime juices. For the full run down, read Jodi’s article that gave Ms. Pa her fame.

Mango sticky rice—sold everywhere, I found a lady with a good price and tricolored rice in the late morning at the Gate Market, less than one dollar per serve. Facing the street, it was in the far left near the souvenir snack section.

Thai iced tea—this sweet orange-hued refresher was also abundant on the streets. I got mine walking along the west wall on my way to Ms. Pa on Arak road, around 50¢. I noticed children getting their snack fixes after school and hopped in line. Pair it with a bag of fresh cut fruit, sold nearby for 29¢.

Matcha fix—in the basement of the MAYA mall was the usual enticing food court. A lady boy sold me a yummy soft serve cone of matcha ice cream. Other sweet options in the mall included mochi, assorted donuts, candy floss crepes, and macarons.

Night market finds—on weekends, eat your way down the Saturday and Sunday Walking Streets. Look out for giant spring rolls, grill and BBQ, shakes, “ancient” ice cream, veggie juicing stations, waffles, and banana Nutella crepes. Food set aside, the CM night markets are your best bet for elephant pants, buddha pants, and trendy clothing. After going to some of the biggest markets throughout SEA including Khao San Road in Bangkok and those found in Hanoi, Hoi An, and Ho Chi Minh City, I can confirm that CM had the best selection and prices. By a long shot.

 

 

 

Day 56 (pm)

Khon Kaen → Chiang Mai

Bless the old tuk tuk driver and his road rage. I swear the man had an internal GPS. I gripped my fruit and curry noodles tightly as we wove through traffic and flooded streets and markets. I was late due to eating too much, and slowly losing my wits. I cheered when we finally hit the interstate.

He took us up another highway and blew past a road sign that clearly had a red cross through an arrow pointing in the direction we were traveling. Good thing I had long given up trying to have any control of the situation. Again, bless him.

After failing to communicate with at least six Thai workers from various bus companies at the station, they escorted me on a bus without printing out a paper ticket. We pulled away within three minutes.

Then I was watching Furious 6 in Thai and being handed boxed soy milk and “American corn chips,” or knock-off bugles. I surprised the woman next to me with my awful sounding “sawadee ka” and proceeded to submerge into my plastic bags of vermicelli and herbs and blood cubes and spicy chicken for a solid ten minutes. Yeah, maybe I stress eat. And market binge, but at least it’s not peanut butter.

Besides, my $7 covered juiced beetroot, carrot, guava, pineapple, and apple… cubes of dragonfruit and papaya, a charcoal banana Nutella almond chocolate syrup crepe, all my curry, and a pineapple watermelon kiwi shake with the free mamey fruit the lady let me try.

Basically, you can ingest the literal rainbow in the form of fruits and veggies in this country. I don’t know if I’m more in love with the flavors or the prices.

Of course, the first stop the bus make was at the Bus Terminal 1, right by the market I had overate at and then fled from. My fault for not knowing Thai.

 

 

Day 57

Chiang Mai

Caloric toll:

• Beef khao soi
• Dragonfruit pineapple passionfruit smoothie
• Taro ancient ice cream
• Grilled mushrooms
• Grilled morning glory
• Grilled fish balls
• Gyozas
• Sushi
• Chocolate waffle
• Pink dragonfruit

 

Day 58

Chiang Mai

I got myself up not too long after sunrise to go see a couple wat temples at an hour where no one would bother me or crowd my photos.

 

 

My plan had been to go to Khao Soi Mae Sai, and after walking a distance that was obscene for flip flops that I have had since the eighth grade, I came up the the chained entrance of the restaurant. Google lied to me, it was closed on Sunday, but I’m talking as if I was keeping track of the days of the week so I can’t really blame my favorite search engine.

 

 

I didn’t know if my ears were picking up more Chinese or more Thai. I found myself quickly feeling claustrophobic inside the Sunday Night Market Walking Street (it really should be plural).

The Three Kings Square had surprisingly empty benches, perfect for stuffing my face on a hot crepe. The racks and racks of pants were getting to me. I found myself sucked into the story of every girl ever—walking away with clothes I didn’t even know I wanted.

I can’t regret any purchases though. The next day I spent twice the price of a shirt on macarons. The sky started to take a dump and as an extremely unprepared shopper I knew where to hide: the shop of Thailand-born Chinese ladies.

My friend Manu recommended live music at North Gate Jazz Co-op, so I made a point to cross through the whole old city to reach it. I was alone, it was raining, my stomach could not take another ounce of liquid, it occurred to me that I was probably locked out of my hostel since I forgot my key (I was), but I needed to at least have a look.

Okay I lied. I saved room for one more Ms. Pa smoothie. Watermelon + lime + salt = one for the books.

Caloric toll:

• Pork salted egg yolk bun
• Chocolate lava bun
• Chinese barbecue pork bun
• Mango sticky rice
• Banana Nutella crepe
• Fish ball pork egg noodle soup
• Dragonfruit mango passionfruit smoothie
• Lychee smoothie
• Watermelon smoothie

 

Day 59

Chiang Mai → Bangkok

Is one supposed to just crunch down on spicy raw onion with their fresh khao soi? I didn’t seem to care as I was happily doing so in KhaoSoi MaeSai.

I almost went to Pai, but I stopped myself because IMO a hippie town full of backpackers and accessible nature deserved three nights, not one. As basic as Pai sounds, it seemed to be undeniably enjoyable.

Perhaps my Thai travels were so urban because after nine trips to China, I appreciated the everyday life of being in Asian cities.

Since my rainy days in Panama hostel dorm beds of wanderlusting (I know, sophomore Vivian sucked at being present) via @legalnomads, I knew I wanted my Southeast Asian adventures to be a blur of checking off my ever-growing bucket list of good eats.

Ms. Pa is the best friend I made in CM and I’m proud of it. I always pointed to one of her fresh fruits, and asked what she recommends to go with it. I sat at the table that was actually just an extension of her cart. I showed her some things I ate at the mall, and even weaseled her Facebook out of her. I also began to wonder if she thought I was creepy. I also have a terrible habit of forgetting to pay sometimes—she’s had to remind me on two separate times. After the first time I tried to have my 20 baht bill ready in my hand before she even finishes blending, but then it happened again today.

There really is no excuse. I’ll never understand everything about myself.

 

 

Caloric toll:

• Boxed soy milk
• Chicken khao soi
• Matcha soft serve cone
• Sticky rice mango macaron
• Whiskey coffee macaron
• Uganda chocolate macaron
• Iced black organic coffee
• Sliced papaya
• Sliced melon
• Thai iced tea
• Coconut pitaya smoothie
• Pineapple lime orange ginger passionfruit  smoothie
• Mango sticky rice